I will never

1. Go to China
2. Ride in a car my friend Mike is Driving
3. Let my brother do what comes after the words "Hey watch this!"
4. Go noodling for catfish. (I like having two arms)\
5. Let my friends talk me in to getting caught in the current of the river...again.
6. Allow mike to drive my car.
7. Do crack.
8. Do meth.
9. Bungee jump.
10. Murder another human being.
11. Be drafted into a war. (I will go to Canada if I have to)
12. Join a nudest colony. (Usually filled with old people)
13. Be on TV other than the news.
14. Have eight kids like John and Kate. (That's just insane)
15. Eat something that might have been on Fear Factor.
16. Wrestle a crocodile. (Alligator maybe)
17. Swim with stingrays. (Just look at what happened to Steve Irwen)
18. Buy a rat for a pet.
19. Watch another reality show that comes on Vh1 about someone trying to find "love".
20. Live in Oklahoma.
21. Allow any of my girlfriends to go to Paris without me. (After seeing Taken)
22. Try to walk down the beach drunk in Destin again. (Last time I got chased by a cop)
23. Become an alcoholic.